My 29th Birthday (OK, my 33rd)

Today is my birthday. However, I firmly believe one should celebrate the entire month. Why stop at a day? Now that I'm a mom, that has been slightly curbed for logistical reasons. I've cut back to a weekend. Or two.

This year, my parents picked up my sweet, angelic children on Friday afternoon and promised to keep them until we picked them up on Sunday. We promised to actually pick them up.

So what craziness ensued? We were in bed by 8 pm. True story. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I threw the alarm clock across the room the next morning, rolled over and slept in until 8:30 am. Totally skipped my scheduled 6 mile run. It felt gooooood. Then Branden and I went and got a couples massage. That's right. I said Branden and I. That is an upcoming post you will NOT want to miss.

Ate out at a restaurant (sans highchair and kiddie menu), went shopping and talked to the nice people at the Apple store (they talked inhumanely fast, I tried desperately to memorize, so as to analyze and comprehend later). In short, a weekend only possible without children.

Sunday morning, slept in again (I know you all hate me right now). Leisurely picked up a few groceries and went out to the farm to have lunch with my parents and visit. Ended up staying until bedtime (Sorry mom!) since there wasn't any school on Monday.

Then today, my actual birthday, my darling husband helped my daughters decorate a cake for me. These were just a few of things overheard during that process:
"Do not lick my arm again."
"No sucking the frosting out of the bottle."
"No, I cannot spell 'You're the best mom in the whole world and we love you very much' on this cake"
"I do think you're a good artist, but I don't think you should try to draw Mommy"
It was a fantastic cake!

During resting time, my sweet friend stopped by with balloons, flowers (which I'll most likely kill by the end of the week. So sad. But I'm gonna try real hard this time. Swear!) and a cake that I plan to share with no one. So wonderful!

At AWANA, the leaders all signed a card, sang Happy Birthday to me (with the clubbers) and gave me a giant cookie cake!

And just to milk things a little more, I've been invited to my very dear friend's house Saturday for a favorite meal and cake. Then we're going to wrap the evening up with a couple bottles of wine and a fire. We're not sure yet if the boys are invited....

I can't forget to mention the numerous phone calls I received today, and the many renditions of Happy Birthday being sung in my ear.

And of course, Face book. It warms my heart every time that little chime sounds. And it's been sounding a lot! My wall has been blowing up with birthday well wishes!

All to say, THANK YOU SO MUCH to you all that have made such an effort to wish me a Happy Birthday! It is humbling and heartwarming to know how much love is out there. And to have it poured back on me today, well, that will make every day this year a little brighter.

Thank you friends.

Multi-Tasking

Moms can do a lot, but they cannot add more hours to the day. That's why God gave Moms the awesome ability to multi-task. However, with great power, comes great responsibility. I have discovered that it can be taken to a ridiculous extreme. I'll digress....

I often wash dishes while I prepare dinner.

I sort and put away clean laundry while clearing out my DVR.

I listen to audiobooks while driving or running.

But I suspect that those aren't uncommon. Try these on for size...

When using the bathroom the other evening, I realized I was "holding it" until I had picked up the trash and toys on the floor. While I was sitting on the toilet. Hmmmm...

When showering, I frequently use the scrub brush to clean the grout and the window shade (yes, I know, the window shade. That's a whole other "Anal Retentive and Me" post).

I will frequently talk while I'm multi-tasking and say completely the wrong word in completely the wrong place. I told McKenna the other day, "No, you may not have another piece of shoe." She was wanting candy. I was looking at shoes on eBay. Although that may not be multi-tasking so much as my brain not doing a great job of keeping up.

So for all those moms out there trying to squeeze just one more task into your day, think of this. Try taking a deep breath and giving yourself a pat on the back. God gave you the ability to multi-task so you could be productive. Not so you could kill yourself and then beat yourself up for not doing enough!

The Misadventures of Amy and Katie

A lot of people tell me that I'm funny and my blog is hilarious. As my family would be quick to tell you, I'm not inherently funny. I rank only 4 out of 6 in the scheme of things. My blog is merely a means for me to relay the hilarious things that just happen to me. Like out of the blue. Here is one such day...

My sister has convinced me to run a half marathon with her this fall. Neither of us were runners before 2011. The jury is still out on whether we're runners yet.

Our training now includes longer runs. I've decided that we should run these together (physically, not over the phone) in order to actually complete these runs!

There is a 14 mile trail near Katie that is perfect because you don't have to contend with broken sidewalks and horrific Johnson County suburbia hills. Ugh

In order to make things a little more intriguing, we left my truck at the end of the trail and drove Katie's car to the trailhead. That way we would have a long, scenic 10 mile stretch ahead of us to enjoy. I'd been reading on the website that you should lock away your valuables when you park your car, as predators troll the trail parking lots. So I carefully stowed everything in the glove compartment and we headed out.

Two miles into the trail, Katie discovered that she needed a bathroom. We'd passed the porta-potty at the beginning and the one-mile-marker. And neither of us thought to put Kleenex in our pockets. So, I was still jogging the appropriate intervals, Katie was just trying to make it to the porta-potty that was supposed to be located at four miles. It wasn't. And the cramps kept on a-comin'.

At this point, I jogged ahead slightly and found the next shelter at four and a half miles. Not only did it have a bathroom, it had toilet paper! I've never been so happy to see a glorified porta-potty in my life!

And yes, we did stuff our pockets with toilet paper. And later when I blew my nose, it smelled like the porta-potty. Gross.

So, Katie's colon is cleansed, we should be good, right? We get back into our rhythm of running and do a darn good job (if I do say so myself!). We breeze past mile-marker five and we're visiting, running, talking to our mom on the phone (conference, of course). Just before mile-marker six, a sudden realization hits me.

Those valuables I stowed away in my glove compartment? Included my keys.

My truck, at the end of the trail, was locked up tight.

I just stopped running, bent over, and started laughing. Katie looked at me like I had gone insane. I was laughing a little like I had. I think they call that "punch drunk".

With no other choice, we turned around and began the six miles back to Katie's car. Which we did have the keys for. Katie was less than pleased. I was still laughing. (Honestly, it still makes me giggle)

We gave it a good effort, but with four miles to go, Katie's phone died and I decided to quit using my iPod in order to save battery. It was the kind of day where something horrible would happen only when both phones died. I was trying to avoid that.

The lack of music, tired muscles from the Zoo Run the day before, the porta-potty adventures, the never ending phlegm from our head colds and all-round fatigue conspired against us. We walked the rest of the way back. Or limped. I entered it into my calorie-burning calculator as walking. That's what I'm sticking with.

Things we discovered on this run:
~Katie is very possibly lactose intolerant.
~You do use your abs to run.
~Racing day is racing day. No matter how short the race, don't run the next day!
~Holes in your shoes are a badge of determination. Badges will not help you run a half marathon.
~You really should give yourself time to get over a cold before resuming training. It only gets worse. True story.

This blog does a poor, poor job of conveying the hilarity of that day. But it does help me relive the memory! :)

The Life and Times of Marek Lee

Marek is a third child. As such, he is not spoiled, pampered, or fussed over, in short; he's a survivor.

His sisters love him desperately and love to be in his face and space. They have taught him that a personal bubble of space is not necessary. I shudder at future lessons...

And although I joke that Marek is a third child and we pay slightly less attention to him, it's just that we have streamlined our parenting style. Yeah, we'll go with that.

Anyway, today, I saved Marek's life.

I'll let that sink in.

Maybe I'm exaggerating slightly. Maybe not. I'll let you decide.

I went to Hobby Lobby this morning with Marek, Teagen and McKenna while Madelynn was in school. I put Teagen in a cart and then Marek in a cart. For the record, both babies were buckled in. McKenna was in charge of pushing Marek's cart, but actually, I was pushing Teagen and pulling/guiding Marek. We selected all of the bolts of fabric I needed, thirteen in total, and we waited patiently while the lady cut two yards of each. All was going well until the clerk commented, "Your children are so well behaved."

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

C'mon lady! While I appreciate the compliment, everyone knows that you don't say things like that until you're walking out of the store and the potential for damage/harm is at zero! But she jinxed me.

Not two minutes later, McKenna decided she was done watching her cut fabric patiently and was hanging off the side of Marek's cart. Not the stout, sturdy Walmart cart, but the tall, plastic Hobby Lobby cart.

You guessed it. She pulled the cart over on it's side. Yes Marek was still buckled in his seat.

I saw this whole thing happen in slow motion. I slowly reached over and grabbed the front handle with one hand and used my other hand to grab Marek by his armpit. By sheer luck or God's grace, I caught him just as his head grazed the floor and was able to right the cart. I can still see the picture of him hanging upside down, buckled into that seat with me holding him by the armpit. And while I'll never forget that image, let's hope that experience doesn't stick with him for long.

So you decide. Saved a life. Saved a head from a bump. The real question is, would this have happened when Madelynn or even McKenna was his age?

Kindergarten

Today was the first day of Kindergarten. For my daughter. That's right, I am the mother of a grade schooler. Wow.

Here's how our morning went...

Sadly, we were not all happy to be awake. But I'm not brave enough to give Marek coffee yet. It might be a tough week.

McKenna, looking fabulous as always. Thank you, Nana, for the wonderful socks! They're our favorite.

Almost time to go!

Don't forget the back pack!

The walk to school. Yes, that backpack is almost as big as she is. Yes, it made me a little teary.

I do recall specifing that no toys join us on our walk to school. Marek must not consider Shrek a toy.

Waiting at the Kindergarten table for the teacher to gather us up. No worries. There were other parents gathered along the wall. I didn't embarass Madelynn. Too much.

This is the Big Girl project that McKenna got to do while sister was at school. She colored, cut and glued the pieces on the puzzle grid! What an artist!

At pick-up. I confess, I was one of the moms that was there early. Ridiculously early. When Madelynn saw me, she raised her hand. When the teacher made eye contact with me, Madelynn was allowed to leave.

And leave she did! I'd like to say that she was SO excited to see me and tell me about her day. But I was standing with Aunt Jessica and we were getting ready to go to the Kansas City Zoo. The first words out of her mouth were, "Where's Tobin?"

So, I have a daughter in Kindergarten. I don't feel that much different. I think Madelynn has always acted so much older that this seems a natural progression.

Now, McKenna's first day of Kindergarten might be a different story...



Spankings

Branden and I spank our kids. There, now you know. It's an involved process, with a lot of warnings, talking and hugging afterwards.

One afternoon, McKenna hit her sister and I sent her to the bathroom. We discussed the wrong-ness of her actions and she got a spanking. She cried, I hugged her and she went outside to play. As the screen door was closing behind her, I heard her tell her friends that she just got a spanking. I just shook my head and didn't think anything more about it.

A few afternoons later, Madelynn committed a spanking offense and was sent to the bathroom. She stood very still and quiet while we discussed what she'd done wrong. I thought this was strange, because she's usually freaking out by this point. When the time came, she put her hands straight up over her head, dove across my lap and took a deep breath. I spanked her. Nothing. Again, strange because Madelynn is a little dramatic when it comes to spankings. (Very hard to imagine, I'm sure!) I gave her a hug and sent her on her way.

Later that evening, we were driving to dinner and Madelynn told her Daddy, "I don't cry anymore when I get a spanking." Which I confirmed.
"Why not, Madelynn?" Daddy asked
"My friend (from next door) told me that if I hold my breath while I get a spanking, it won't even hurt."

Ah hah.

The Family that Cleans Together...

We have come to the end of care free summer days. Our neighbor friends are no longer home during the day, yet Madelynn is not yet in school with a routine and things to do. Therefore, we are...

BORED!

I think that's the most dreaded word a mom can hear. It's awful. Especially when accompanied by whining. And fussy babies (that's right, plural).

Ok, ok, enough of the yuck. This is suppose to be the lighthearted part of your day!

Here's how we spent our afternoon, to rise from the doldrums.

First, I should explain that the only person that wears socks from April to September is Branden. We are a flip flop family. Or Crocs for a heavy duty activity. So they get pretty nasty.

That's right. I fill up a scrub bucket (good ole Dawn) and a rinse bucket. Everyone gets there own scrub brush and away we go!

As McKenna is demonstrating, there's no need to not look fabulous!

Madelynn has not yet mastered the art of "acting natural". We'll work on that.

She's a good little cleaner, though! Her mama's proud of that!

Teach them to clean young, that's what I always say.

Truthfully, I couldn't have kept him away if I'd put a fence up. That boy loves playing in the water.

At least the Croc is clean, right?

Pick your battles, moms. Pick your battles.

Only a true anal-retentive can look at this picture and feel a peace inside.

I will sleep well tonight.